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Icala LikaDube

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Icala LikaDube

Kwakugcwele phama enkantolo ngenkathi uDube ethula ubufakazi bakhe mayelana necala lokudlwengula abekwe lona isisebenzi sakwakhe, uDube wayephuze ismirnoff ukuze abe nesbindi, umshushisi embuza imibuzo ejulile nabu ubufakazi abethulela inkantolo: Dube: ....ngangphuma ekameleni lami ngaya etoilet ngithe ngise phaseji ngezwa umsindo engingawuqondi ekameleni lesi sebenzi, ngaphusha umnyango kancane ngangena, ngethuka ngacishe ngaquleka mangthola isisebenzi silele sibheke phezulu igawuni iqaqwe yashiwa uhhafu sigovoze amathanga akhe amakhulu ewavule onke isbumbu sisele obala lokhu okungamalebe ekuhlikiza ngeminwe esinye esinye isandla ezikopa ngaso umunwe ewukhipha ewufaka eseze wacimeza ebheke phezulu ethi "aaaah aaaah" ephefumulela phezulu eseza wabamba udebe lwangezansi sakululuma kodwa engazilumi, ngenkathi ezikopa ulokhu efenda kancane. Mshushusi: *egwinya amathe esula impandla* qhu qhu qhubeka ndoda yamadoda ilalele inkantolo. Dube: umthondo wavuka isgubhukane wama wathi mpo kwazise kade ngichatha ngayizolo, ngezwa ngathi uyaphuka yingakho ngawukhipha ngaphandle ngasondela kuye engangboni ngafika ngamdlokodla ngomunwe wam wokukhomba ngimkopa ngyawukhipha ngyawufaka ngamuzwa ewubamba ewuphushela phakathi, wakhipha amahlo kakhulu egquma ekhuluma ulimu engingalazi. Lapho ngase ngifile ukuqhanyelwa sekuthi angimbhebhe. *ijaji lase likhamisile limbuka* mshushisi: aw suka nini madoda, wase umenzani qhubeka. Dube: ngamuzwa ephuthaza umthondo wam kwasho ukuthi ungaphandle wawuthola wawubamba wagcwala isandla wangishayisa indlwabu ngezwa ubumnandi ngafenda kancane ngaze ngalibala ukuthi nami ngyamkopa wathatha isandla sami wasibuyisela egolo ngaqhubeka ngamkopa ngayifaka yabamithathu iminwe egolo, ngamuzwa ebubula ngaqhubeka ngathi ngyamuqhweba iminwe iphafathi egolo ngambona egoqana egquma kakhulu ephefumulela phezulu ethi "hhhhhaa haaah haaah" iminwe yaphuma isinento ngathi ubisi *ngenkathi echaza uDube, utolika wayeseze wabeka izandla ezihlathini ehlanganise amathanga ewavula ewavala* Mshushisi: wayebona ukuthi wuwena lo noma wayengaboni omkopayo? kwenzeka konke lokhu nje uphi umkakho? Dube: wayebona kahle waze wathi "ooooh Dube" umkami wayelele. Mshushisi: ok, awubhebhi ngani yena umkakho? Dube: ngamcela kodwa wabika ikhanda, ukukhathala nesiyezi njenge nhlalayenza. Mshushisi: ay qhubeka ndoda. Dube: angisazi ngigcine kuphi usuke wangphazamisa ngisachaza, kodwa wagcina echamile *kwezwakala omunye umama ethi 'laze lamnandi leli cala' bahleka abanye* ngabe sengikhuphuka ngiyisa ubuso bami ngakobakhe ngalala kuye inkaba yami yaqondana neyakhe yena wavele imlenze wayintshinga le walivula igolo *ephuza amanzi uDube*. Mshushisi: aw silwane somhlola wenzani emva kwalokho, qhubeka ilalele inkantolo. Dube: angibambe ngisacucuza ngavele ngawushisa egolo umthondo, ngsawufaka ngezwa kushisa kamnandi ngaze ngathi "mmmmmh aaaah" ngihleba, yena wathi 'ah ah ah ah' ngimfenda naye efenda umthondo waze wangena wonke wafika ekujuleni kwegolo ngamfenda imizuzu emithathu wachama, imlenze yakhe isintanta emoyeni efenda ezethi "lidle lonke Dube mnandi umthondo wakho" ngamfenda esehayiza ngzama ukumvala umlomo ngezandla phela kwakuzovuka umkami *kwezwakala indoda ezihlweleni ithi mbheeeeeeeebhe, nomama bananela ngohleko olunomkhuba phakathi* Mshushisi: mmmmh ya ngiyezwa kwaphela kanjalo pho? Dube: ngamphendula ngamdunusisa yazi wadunusa ngathi encane ingane le, iqolo walithi vosho lashona phakathi wase ngathi uyagxamalaza lavele lasala lonke igolo ngemuva ngake ngezwa inhliziyo ishaya ngamandla ngawufaka umthondo ngamuzwa ekhuluma ulimu engalwazi *utolika wenkantolo wakhotha umlomo eseze watshekisa ikhanda ebuka uDube* ngamfenda wachama *wazwakala ehleba utolika ethi oooooooh goshhh* angibazi lobumnandi phela umkami akasangniki inquza manje nami ngangingeke ngyeke isbumbu umuntu elambe njengami. Mshushisi: manje wagcina kanjani hhe qhubeka? *ezekhotha umlomo* Dube: ngathi ngsafenda wavele wahlehla sakufenda, kwaba mnandi ngachama nkosi yenkantolo *kwaduma ihlombe enkantolo* ijaji: order, order!

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